Painkillers
by Fire Dragon Faller
Summary: This was not like the usual days. This day was different. No fake smile, no cheery lies. Mabel tells about the day she snapped. Sad one-shot. Rated T for drugs and swearing.


**A/N: **Hey guys! So I was like really depressed when this one-shot just popped into my head. I hope you like it, enjoy reading, and it is okay to cry. I don't know if I'm really good at describing feelings, but if you cry, it means I am.

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls

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I don't know why, but it was different this time. I used to be so cheery all the time. I always put other people before me. But then this one day, I snapped. Something inside me broke.

People thought I was used to it. Used to all the things people said about me. Sometimes to my face, most of the time behind my back. But a lot of times, I still got to hear those remarks, one way or another. I guess people not always meant to hurt me, but they did. I told myself not to care, but no matter how much I tried I still did. I all remember it so well. That one day..

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I woke up, not with the usual smile on my face. My pillow was soaked, just like my face. I went to bed straightly the day before, without washing of my mascara, or changing clothes. I was devastated. But anyway, I woke up. Heavy bags underneath my eyes, along with leaked mascara. I opened my moist eyes with another tear rolling down my face. I didn't even make an effort to put on another fake smile.

Instead, I got up and podded towards the bathroom. Taking a look in the mirror -straight into my broken eyes- I felt the last remanings of myself fall into pieces too. I turned on the tap and formed a bowl with my hands. I let the cold water pour into my hands and threw it onto my face. With my wet hands, I wiped off the last bit of my (not so waterproof) mascara and sighed. I grabbed a towel and dried my face. I put the towel back and now looked for the second time into the mirror, repeating the same words again and again. _"You can do it Mabel, you can do it." _I put on a cracked smile and all the mean comments came back in a rush. _'No one likes you! You're a joke! No one can even look at you for five seconds without puking!' _I felt nails digging into my skin and again I was blinded by tears.

"No. No, no. NO NO NO NO NOO!" I screamed. "I've ALWAYS been there for EVERYONE, and they all treat me like SHIT! Like I'm some kind of JOKE. Like I don't have any feelings at ALL! SCREW YOU!" I shout. It felt like my face was on fire. Blood now streamed out of the place where my nails were digging into my palms. My attention got drawn to a little orange jar with the label 'painkillers' on it. Stan often used it when his back hurt. I opened my fists and I could see the little blood pools forming onto my palms. I wiped of my hands onto my pajama pants and opened the jar of painkillers. I hesitated for a couple of seconds and then took the first pill.

It felt good. Slowly I could feel the pain go away. I took another one, and another. And so I went on, until there were only 3 left. I heard the front door closing, and Dipper was calling my name. "Dipper.." I said with a faint smile. I made an attempt to walk out of the bathroom, but everything was so blurry. I lost control of my body and felt straight down onto the tiled bathroom floor. But I didn't feel anything. It felt great. I didn't have any worries at all. But then I heard a familiar voice shouting my name over and over again. That moment I felt my heart shattering into a million pieces. I wanted to move, I wanted to shout! But I was just laying there, on the ground, not able to move or see, or to do anything. It didn't take long until I lost my consciousness. And the next thing I know is me waking up in the hospital.

"MABEL!" I heard someone shout. Since I was still adjusting to the sound, I wasn't able to identify the voice and it hurt my ears. "YOU'RE AWAKE!" I now recognized who actually was talking to me, and before I could even open my mouth, I was embraced by my slightly younger twin brother. "Don't you ever scare me like that again.." He softly sobbed into my ear.

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That day.. I can remember it all so clearly, and yet so blurry. Things have never been the same again. At least, I haven't. Only by hearing the word 'pills' or 'hospital' I shudder. But I don't regret every single part of my actions. Since that day, I can smile, and actually _mean_ it.

That day made me realize I have to embrace every single moment of my life, since it can be over any second.

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**A/N **Yaay, an epilogue! Okay I thought that ending wasn't too great, because actually I was going to let her die. But I don't think people would be too happy if I did that so I made a quick good ending. Well, I hope you enjoyed reading this one-shot. Leave a review if you did! Bye :)


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